Unfair

Hello ! Lately, I've been busy... yup busy with sch most of the time. 
Doing homework, test and etc.

Today's topic will be talking about unfair.

Do you guys think that this will is unfair?

Well, different people have different point of view. As for me, I think that this world is unfair.
Because, there are people who are
-born good looking and not good looking
-plum and skinny 
-rich and poor
and etc etc. lol.

Why is it that the world is unfair ? 

Actually I not sure too... But I have this thinking that, IF the world is fair... everyone will be having this equal standard of life and looks. Of course, there are things whereby people trying to make a minor stuff to be fair... Sometimes it does work, but sometimes, no... Not everything is fair. If not life would be boring and no more excitement. 

When the world is unfair...

There will be people complaining about how unfair the world is and I am a very good example. hahahaha
-People copying stuff and get an A ( they don't event understand a single thing)
-People putting in so much effort in their work but it is not recognize
-Bias towards other people.  
Sighhh, there are lots more but I just could not think of any because I am too tired to think...

I am now trying not to rant too much about unfair thingy because it just wont change the fact.
Maybe rant to make myself feel better. HAHAHAHA !
Alright, got to sleep now, good nite :))

I am BACK (Seriously)

Hello !!!

This time round I am back like SERIOUSLY BACK
I wont abandon this blog ever again becos just by thinking back the stuff that i wrote and the banner and layout that I created. Everything is just so perfect for me. A little place for me to rant and pour out my feelings.

Anyway, LETS START FRM where I actually stop.
Yes, I am now in semester 2. And you guys must be wondering how's my UT3 grades. (UT is understand test, in another words, EXAM :D, total of 3 UT) It was imba ! hahaha if I were to be more careful could have gonna As for all my module and will be come the more more imba. LOL

So yeah, we changed classmate of course and in this class. All I can say is, I feel outcast or should I said not exactly outcast... idk, I just feel that I've been made use of and pple just copy my stuff and treat it as theirs :O How bad it is right. So I am trying to do smth abt it. Right now, I am in the progress of doing it :D
And another thing is I feel like I am drifting away frm my friends. Yes to pple out there who think that I have many friends. Yes many friends, but who are true friends who willing to stay by your side.

To said the truth, I have friends whom we laugh together, do stuff together when we meet. However when we reach home, we dont talk at all and etc. Its like we only talk when we meet or never talk at all. So I can say that MOST of the time I am alone. And I want a true friend but where can I find out LOL. Most of them like so busy with their life and doesnt even give a dam abt me.

If friends doesnt care abt you, still got family. Yeah my dad care a lot for me. I can see through his action. mom keep working so its hard to see her too. Sighhh but I am happy today cos our family get together and went to the clinic together to get injection while I consult doctor cos I am sick. YES AGAIN haha thats why my parents were kinda worried abt me for getting sick like so many times this year.

My mom keep asking me if I have boyfriend and whats his name... I have someone in my mind actually but I dont think he likes me anymore or whatever. I guess i gonna let go. Its hard but I need more time sighhh.
So now thats it, I wanna sleep Good nite :D

I am back

Hi, its been awhile.
Hmmm, been going out quite often, its like there were outings going on.
Also, I have gone back to maple. Only played at night...
Had a very wonderful birthday, lots of surprises from pple and etc.
On the last second day of sch, we wore formal... and yup.

Holidays coming soon... i will blog more often, bye.

No more

Hi, recently, there're lots of stuff happening around. One of it is my family. But I am not going to say it here.
Then, I went out with my Poly Mates and ITE Mates. Gathering and boding session with them.

I will blog more abt it soon cos I am not feeling well and also something is going on here...
so yeah... byee.

Hi, I was suppose to prepare presentation slide on Steve Job but... I just couldnt do it.  :(

Poly life is getting harder and harder each day. Struggling everyday !
I always believe that, even if life is getting harder. It is good to have someone who is there to walk down the rocky road with you. Stress together, enjoy together. Might not be able to solve my problem but willing to listen to my problem.

That is something which I wanted, I miss those time in ITE, school was stress. After school, we would go somewhere to have dinner and relax. I want something like that.

Now, is like... After school, stay in the library to do work. By the time I finish my work. Its 8pm plus, went home, eat bathe and sleep. Next day, wake up again and same routine going on and on again.
To me, time is everything, time is precious... I already cut down things which I love and enjoy doing.
Its okay... I believe that I can enjoy doing stuff again... :)
I believe that someone will be there to walk down the rocky road with me... :)
I believe that someone will reduce stress with me... :)

Hi... taking a break from making notes...

I AM REALLY !!! Mentally tired...
First, classmates as in my tt grp might treat me good but, what ever thing that happen. No one will be there to help me, I have to get it done by my OWN. That is when, I burst out of tears last friday because I am lost for like the whole week... WHOLE ONE WEEK. And my daily grades werent that great.

Second, I keep asking questions to clear my doubt, but its not enough ... its ... like pple were ignoring me !!!
Pple who are close to me, doesnt help, how abt people who are not familiar with me ?

I am all alone, struggling in EVERY SINGLE THING ! I am tired... I am seriously tired...
Can I have a break ?

Grown up

Hi, a quick update...

School first, I got back almost all my result and so far, fail 1 module but other modules didnt do well.
Only just pass or  pass slightly better !

This coming week is UT 2. I havent start studying also. I feel so not motivated... My laptop hard disk corrupted.. No laptop for me to study because all my notes inside... everything just went missing. Keep running here and there to do my laptop thingy... I really wish that monday I can get back my laptop. Also, hope can borrow laptop from sch, if not I cant even go to sch already...

Parents not at home... I got to deal with all these stuff by myself... My brother will accompany me and etc.
I really appreciate that. Sighhh. I dont know if its a test for me since my parents is away... for me to deal with all those stuff to become a grown up.

I dont know why is it that I care so much for someone who dont and wont given give a damn abt me.

I dont know why is it that I can tear for someone who dont even bother.

I dont know why is it that people can have such a good friends who love them but I cant.

I dont know why is it that I can coach pple abt rls when I myself doesnt have any rls experience.

I dont know why I just cant have someone to rely on.

I dont know why no matter how much effort I put in, I will not get a good grades...

I feel like giving up.... I wanna disappear frm the world... forever... 

Good old times.

Firstly, A very Happy Birthday to my beloved daddy !
He is not sweet but he is caring :D A good man in da house ! :D
Was suppose to celebrate dad's bday but smth happen ... so nvm =.=

Secondly, I am happy that ytd I talked to most of my maple friends.
Knowing how well they are living right now and I am really happy for them.
Some even got boyfriend after that yearning for one ! Really very envy ! Seriously happy for them :D
That moment of time, something strikes me to go back to maple.
But if I were to go back to maple, I dont think I will be back to studying.
Also, I want someone to play with me who will protect me.
Cause, I know that I play maple alone, I wont be able to survive.

Lastly, I've not been eating a full meal. I mean only eat lunch and really... v tiring and stressed up !
School is getting harder. Life is getting harder.
How I wish someone can understand how I feel !!! And blog is the only place I can rant !!!

Cos everyone is drifting away from me.

Chore or ... ?

Hello !!! This whole week was like a "think-too-much-week" for me.
Because... of all the people around me... I not sure if its cause that people treat me nice cause its a chore for them or they really want to treat me nice ?

Let talk about my classmates. (Aiya, basically I'm just gonna talk abt them cos this is how I feel frm them)

Firstly, let me do an introduction about them first.
I said before that my class consist of lots of guys and malays.
So, when having lunch, we chinese, went to the food court together. ( I am not racist here)

This consist of,
-Me
-YF (Girl)
-HK (Boy)
-KY (Boy)
-Cly (Boy)
-Png (Boy)
-GM(Boy)
-Ben(Boy)

YF and HK very close, it seems like they have secret or whatsoever. Always stick together. Even though YF got bf. But she seems to be doesnt matter. Whenever she see me, she will went so happy and keep jumping and hoping around. Sometimes even hold my hand and etc. But when it comes to like talk abt stuff. Yes she will talk to me but then, she still prefer HK than me, which I dont know why. And I feel that its okay. But some people doesnt feel that its okay...

Recently, her attitude towards me change...  she doesnt talk to me like how she used to... Then talk abt stuff which really can hurt me. Being selfish and etc...

She talked a lot and a lot of the people whom I have listed down, talked to her as well. Till the extend when I wanna talk... nobody doesnt want to talk to me. Its like either I am walking infront or behind... Sometimes, when she is not around, I talk. But their respond wasnt like how they respond to YF. Sometimes... can even see that they are just putting on the show.

Anyway, I feel bad when talking abt this. I seriously think I am talking too much. I MEAN thinking too much !
(Ps : I took a long time to think and blog but i dont know why I just dont want to talk abt it as I think I am thinking too much)

Nowadays, I think of smth and after thinking for like days or whatever, I feel that I really thinking too much and let it go. I am still learning to control myself, as its not easy as what U guys think. Cos I have high neuroticsm.

Not just only classmates, I've been thinking too much about my GPA. It drops !!! From 2.9 to 2.8
I not sure if I am giving myself too much stress or I have high expectation of myself.
People were telling me, this is only the 1st year, 1st semester only. You so chiong for what.
Yes, for what ? Why do I have to do all these ? How does it benefits me when I score well ?
Cos, I am aiming for university now... Its so hard... so... so.. hard !
I feel that I sooner or later, I will not be able to hold on to the car that is speeding anymore...

Let me end this post with some photos that I took this week.

Remember that it was a monday and it was a very humid weather. Last min plan to had dessert and walk around the nearby shopping mall before heading home to do RJ and etc.

This guy above ask if I would like to go for the art exhibition at scape and I brought Cat along :D So that at least I have someone to talk to. LOLS. 

We were copying someone with the expression LOLS. and I didnt know that the candid shot that Cat took of me doing some expression can be so nice too. LOLS. 

Inside joke :
 Cos whenever i type, I will type v fast or I blur or smth. End up here is the joke...
Cat : So which flirter do you wanna use to take photo ?
Me : NONE
Both of us : -laughing away LOLS-

UT 1 is over !

YOOOOO ! UT 1 is officially over !!!! After 2 more weeks, it will be UT 2 ! Even harder T__T

Anyway, let me summarise UT1. Hmmm...
For problem solving, its like a mind fcuk qns. Words that are playing with our mind ! LOLS
So, have to read the question carefully. And have to think carefully too !

For Engineering design, I really really really very !!! =.= Pissed off with myself.
Knowing its a correct answer yet I go change to the wrong answer ! 11 marks fly away just like that !

For OB, a lot of careless mistake !!! Need to think properly before answer. It seems that the answer is correct but actually its wrong. Spent lots of time on those question. Only the last few parts I careless here and there. Hopefully, can get an A.

For science, I wasnt in a good condition that time. Didnt do well for science. I tried my best in every question...

For maths, seriously not enough time. 45mins for 36 maths questions... Also, tried my best in every question... :(

After the last paper maths, I was like so blur. Actually my head was like going to burst !!!!
I got very sad and walk like a zombie. My classmate ask me why is it I am having this blur look.

UT1 is over, dont wish to talk abt it. Gonna prepare for UT2... which is coming in 2 weeks time... :(

Meanwhile, just want to rest ! Rest enough, then monday continue to jiayou !!!

Last Last week grades was fabulous... lol

OB- A
Engineering Design - B ( Could have get an A if I am not late for sch ! )
Science - C
PS - B
Maths - A ( was expected to get a C because i didnt do anything to help or etc... lol)

Yeah, my GPA is up and down up and down lololol hope can maintain.
Ytd went out with classmate, only those grp whom i go lunch with. Actually got 2 more guys, but they not free. :(

After the hiking session, I went over to somewhere near Sentosa and took some photos and watch Sunset.
Was feeling kinda weird/sad because everyone around me were with their friends, bf/gf and families. LOLS
Let's enjoy !

Nice or not ? hahaha, I got use filter de. And then, can see national flag or not ? HAHAHA :D
Seeya guys soon ;D

End or no ? Part 2

Disclaimer: The information I get is from screen shoots that was sent to me or get it from others or I found out by myself. 

After End or no ?, I didnt contact him and etc. I just does not want to face him. Because I have my own limit dealing with this type of people.

2weeks of study break ended. Going back to school and everything went back to normal.
Neutral feeling going back to school. My team mate changed and etc. Quite happy with it.

Our school have this communicator that work like msn. It was after the lesson...
A chatted with me through the communicator !
He asked me if I would like to accompany him to the orchard road.
I reject him because I want to revise my problem solving module because the next day is the test.
He then VOLUNTEER to teach me, so I asked one of my classmate to join me since he want to study with me and a few of my ITE friends since they have not start to study problem solving.

The moment he came in to my class, he keep on boosting on what he learn on that day to dini.
And keep on want to teach her the OB module problem 6. So my classmate and I do our quiz first when he is teaching. So that we dont have to waste our time waiting here and there without doing anything.
After doing the quiz, he was teaching OB module problem 1 and so on. I find it weird...
Therefore, asked him if he is ready to teach problem solving. He blame on me saying that he is actually waiting for me. Thats why he teach OB module first.

I was thinking, if you didnt teach OB module problem 6 FIRST, do I have to do my quiz first while waiting for you ? But I keep quiet. He threaten and ask me if I want to learn or not, if dont want, he go back to his class and teach his classmate.

I never say anything, then my ITE friends come in and he started to teach problem solving followed by boosting what he learn on that day and etc. Meanwhile, he keep on asking everyone, what will he gain by teaching us. We told him that he actually revise what he learn and its good that he can teach without refering to any notes. Then because my ITE friends got to go. I started to pack my bag and told him that I am going home. His face change completely.
He said that he going back to his class and teach his classmate. I said okay and left.
When dini and I left the block, we saw him sitting there alone and I said bye to him. He still show me the black face and nodded his head.

Later on, I saw him posted on twitter saying that he wasted his time and telling pple that I go to him when i need something from him and left him when i have got nothing to do with him.
I never said anything, I just stay calm... I admit that I was very angry. Isn't he contradicting much ?

But this does not end... Tuesday. he look for dini keep pestering dini to send him the answer for the worksheet before the RP internet shut down (cos of UT) But dini was doing quiz.
Later on at night, he keep on pestering dini again to ask her send the answer over cause need to hand in before 12am. Dini was on the way to her cousin's house around that time. He keep on spamming call, sms and even go facebook tag her name and announce to the whole world by saying this...

(her name) wa lao ask u online 1130pm u say u wont sleep... didnt even see u online need ur help before 12am de..now u not even online ... i die already..thanks hor

Then he even send a msg to her saying...

Thanks to you that I am getting a C for my programming module.

Why he does not want to ask his classmate ? Why he dont want to finish his homework and spend time going shopping ? Why he dont want to ask other friends other than dini ? Then keep blaming others. Instead of blaming himself. (External locus of control)

Meanwhile, he posted lots of stuff too.

i hope everyone that i dun like fails their exams badly and their life must be ruin then i will be happy 

Best of all, most of them comes to you when they need your kind help and then leave when they are done with you.

there are some people from almost all my life in different aspect of category that i do not really like..(Primary School)(Secondary School)(ITE Nitec)(ITE Higher Nitec)(Card Playing)("Best Friends")(POLY Mates)--- its really difficult to find someone that will be there when you need them =.= 

so i pray that they will be punish for their sins are too deep

See, he posted all these stuff when dini was online already and teaching him. But he keep on demanding and blaming dini for coming online late and demand her to do this and that.
Then, dini actually send him the picture of the programming stuff which can help him in his worksheet.

Dini : -.- i got send this to you before -.-
A : nope
Dini : i sent the pic to ur mail
A : i told u cant see
Dini :cause u nvr dl the pic and u nvr try see ma who want to invest their time on u when they also have their own life
A : its too pixelise

 Why is it that dini can actually look at the picture and type out those answer for him, furthermore she got wear specs de. He did not wear specs and yet he cant see !?!?! I think its lazy ba. Then now blaming people. And posting stuff on twitter and facebook saying us ? Think we stupid to believe that your not referring to us ? Who is at fault first ? Want me to write out ? Sure yes !

Arrogant and Proud(High Ego).
-Keep on boosting how well you get for your daily grade
-And how well you understand the stuff that you learn and keep on teaching us
-Then say that we didnt give you anything after you teach us
-Did we even ask you to teach us in the very first place ?

Blaming people, not contended, demanding, petty, lazy and hold grudges
-Yes, sometimes we might as you to teach, but you gain a lot from that too. Not contended ? want more ?
-But you need help from other people, you keep demand and blame people and threaten them.
-Never online or online late only keep on posting stuff and say and curse people, see le we also angry.
-Teach wrongly also insist that your correct. Dont want to accept the fact.
-People send you the stuff you dont bother to read and say pple never send you.
-Want to see people fail very badly for exam then he happy, wtf. lol.

Then, on the next day, I post something on twitter.

I dont like guys who hold grudges and keep blaming others instead of himself. P E T T Y

I think he feel guilty T.T(I can be referring to anyone) So he started to shoot me back, by saying this.

i dun like stupid ppl crying then say its alright 

Oh, I stupid, hahaha. I thought cry already can make me feel better sounds strong instead of stupid ? LOLS.
Btw, I go to his twitter account, a guy say the same thing as me:  its alright after crying. He asked him, are you okay ? Why not he go say to him, are you stupid ? LOLS WTFWTF.

Then I type something again to wanna make sure he is shooting me.

 Arrogant and proud.

He shoot me back with

stupid and bias 

LOLS I can be 100% sure he is shooting me. :D
Okay so you were saying me crying then say its alright meaning I am stupid, oh okay okay.
Then bias ? hahaha, I dont get how bias I am o.O siding with dini ? Why not you think what you have done ?
And even my ITE friends also siding with dini. Even people who saw whatever you post siding on dini.
Bias ? Did I ? You're wrong in the very first place.

 I said ...

oh really ? hahaha !

He said this

u know i am referring to you. dont you. dont act can. its not even ur business to bother. talk so much 

Dini is my friend, you aim her meaning also aim me. You ride over my head and manipulate me from ITE till now and now saying I talk so much ?
Its the fact ! I merely post how I feel abt you from your action. You can post nasty stuff about us which is not true. Now I post facts about you, you want shoot back ah ? Are you really a guy or not ? O.O

Then I said this

Twitter is a place where I can rant out my feelings :D

In twitter, I can post how I feel abt someone since its something like a blog or something. And how I am feeling right now.

Then he said this

oh.. thats cool going to ur class saying that all the people are bitchy would be fun 

Oh, wanna threaten me ? Bring it on, see who win ! I never said ALL the people are BITCHY.
I said some of them actually like to stalk me, kpo my stuff and they like smart people and they are dangerous because they scold pple stupid and I dont even know when is my turn that they would even say me and create rumour about me ! And you want to tell them, go ahead, I got nothing to fear because after all the stuff that is going on, I bond well with the other grp of people in my class which I will listen to them gossip and etc. I am not like you, said gonna teach classmate, end up sitting under the block alone.

I never continue to fight with him because I need to do my RJ. So i post other stuff instead. Then he posted, his temper not good and he thanks everyone who is by his side all these years.
He posted something even a younger than him so many years de people also can think his statement is wrong.

friends do not backlash you. they praise you for they are the one that is so called your friends

Backlash ? Meaning ? Are you trying to say we say bad stuff abt you or smth ? o.O
Anyway, I only concern for your last statement. No wonder you keep saying your classmate very nice, saying you cute, good. Calling you faci and etc. Cause they praise you, so you said that they are your friend.
Oh, so I can relate your first statement now. Meaning your trying to say we are not your friend when we say you arrogant and etc etc. Oh... hahaha So meaning if there is rice on your face, pple praise you, You also happy and call them friends? LOLS BULLSHIT. Friends is when they point out your bad stuff so that you can change into a better person or improve yourself. If they bring you up higher and treat you like a king. The harder you fall. But actually you know what they think of you inside ? LOLS no right ?

Anyway, Dini saw him and he saw dini, his expression change a lot from happy to "give that type of unexplainable" face. LOLS. I saw him too but he did not saw me, so I treat it as he is invisible.
Am not going to keep him unless he really change... If I were to stay as friend with him, his attitude dont change. I dont know if I will become a lady who give him a punch on his face.

So, how you guys think ? Comment on it, If you guys think that I am at fault too. Feel free to tell me why.
Thankyou for reading :)

Nice Weather :D

YOOOHOOO ! :D
Its a nice weather today ! :D Feeling cold, I love this feeling :D
I've been studying Engineering Design these few days, 1 slide I took a very long time to digest !
And I still have problem solving module to go which I myself have been using it on my family members.
LOLS, not as much as someone of course.

Teacher said that its best to read more article and identify the problem in that article. :D
Its the best way to practice. hehehe. I actually did go through on one of the article which is the Alex Ong pushes the old lady off the bus.

However, I still dont feel confident, I did revise my work but it seems like I did not revise my work.
Sighhhh. what should I do T.T  And, that someone keep on showing off how many As he got and what module he finish studying and blablabla. I dont like it... he gave me lots of pressure !!!! Also, my mom keep want me to do housechores when I am studying.... If I never do, she angry. Same goes to my brother.
Ytd he just throw dont know whatever stuff here and there until a lot of noise. I was studying !
Its like, I wash the clothes, then I got to go to school for my CCA, so I told him to dry the clothes.
I got back home, he havent dry the clothes. Until very late in the evening then do it. Do it unwillingly...

Its not that they cant ask me to do but PLS, u guys sitting there, facebook, play game, watch drama.
No time to do ? You can ask me to do housechores but not when I'm studying u ask me to do it.
I dont like to do things half way ....

When school reopen, i am going to become siao already, more and more test coming out... Things are getting tougher... I hate all these !!!! I wish that I can never ever grow up !

Sorry for the rant, its suppose to me a nice weather but... I just cant help it. Need a space to rant.
Cannot rant on twitter le. Or should I say, everytime I wanna rant, I tell myself its okay ?
Many many "its okay" bottle exploded ! LOLS

Bye, me gonna study :D

Sinful

The other day, when I was cooking maggie mee, I saw a crocoroah (I LIKE TO SPELL IT THIS WAY XD)
running... I was very scare !!! Then I spray the bygone on it and it try to escape and I still continue spraying until my dad asked me to stop.

After that, I felt so sorry, so guilty... I should leave it alone ! Seeing it so scare of me, I really do feel so... like I am so evil... sigh... I squat down and keep looking at the crocoroah with a sad face. :(

I go school also keep thinking abt it.
Anyway, another thing which I felt so sinful is that I WAS SUPPOSE TO STUDY !!!
Then my ITE friends say, hey lets go sing K.
I was thinking..."o.O sing k ? my voice sucks... I dont sing well...aiya nvm dont go."
But they keep pulling me ! So I told myself "its okay, its your first time going to sing K"
So I went with them and it was fun, idk what I singing cos I cant hear myself and I am like singing like a duck hehehe.

Afterall, a very good experience. Might want to go again... because its cheaper !!!

End or no ?

Last night was really a very emotional night because of someone...
Then, wanna find fault with me and etc, which is really... going crazy...

This is how it goes like...
Btw, lets name him A.

A: I now running, the after that gonna write notes.
Me: huh? what notes
A: Organisational Behaviour(OB) and Problem solving(PS).
Me: We (my ITE friends) need help in OB and PS.
A: lol, after dini teach me programming first.
Me: okay can if she late u teach us first.
A: Lol i think i go even early or else i will overslept.
Me: what time u plan to reach ?
A: 8
Me: u sure ?
A: yeah
Me: you can wake up then say. (cos he ALWAYS overslept)
A: you didnt read properly what I write, i say i writing notes, not sleeping.
(I wasnt happy with what he type because he didnt even say that he is not sleeping in the very first place.)
Me: I am not refering to that sentence
A: then what u refering
Me: Abt the time u gonna reach sch n u said u gonna write notes, u never mention that ur not sleeping.
A: write notes equal not sleeping
(Expect people to ASSUME that write notes = not sleeping ah ?!)
Me: I did not assume
A: then problem solving how to pass ?

My neuroticism was very high that night because of some stuff, additional to this...
"Being so proud and wanna put me down" attitude, I was so angry and sad that I cried.

1st, why is he expecting me to ASSUME write notes = not sleeping ? I am not someone whom know what your thinking and etc. And Why must I assume OR why must I assume what he assumed me to assume? In problem solving module, faci said before that do not make too much assumption towards the problem. Just less than 5 or maybe more, depends on the problem.
That's why I tried my best not to assume so much. If assume too much, its hard to solve the problem and it will make people feel more complicated and will be hard to get back on track.

Furthermore, in problem solving,  he cannot assume that I am able to know that he's not going to sleep from what he said. However, we're supposed to identify what assumptions are to this problem.

Therefore, I assumed that he is still going to sleep since he mention that he want to go to school early or else he going to overslept.

Yes this is what I assumed but I was crying and was not in a clear mind. So I wrote the sentence above for him after I cool down. LOLS.

2nd, this type of situation does not happen just only once and to me. It happens to everyone and many times already. Other people cant tolerate with his attitude but I am still bearing with it. Because I feel that, its good to learn something when chatting with him. And he got his point there. But now, he went overboard with what he learn and use it in a wrong way. Yet still feeling like as though he never make any mistake.
Tell him already, will he listen ? No right ? Cause, his ego very high and want people to think like what he is thinking. Another thing, I might be small and weak but he think that he can like disturb me or put me down is it ?

Overall, I am someone whom is not for people to put down and I am not someone who let people to control me. If your in the wrong or make any mistake, admit it. Dont raise your need so long like a giraffe.
And dont go overboard with what your learning, because you might be good in that module. You are too confident that you will make mistake and lead people wrongly. Also, how would other people feel if you keep on "showing off" to other people how well you learn & how well you score for your daily grade in that module(s) ? Of course they will demoralise right ? Result in to have low in self efficacy.
I was thinking if I should end this friendship with him or to not to stay so close with him.
What you you guys think ?

I am a slacker !

Hi there ! I got a feeling that after this week's study break, my stress level will be increasing ! Till a very high level ! Because the test is like free flow... Sigh... I long time never cry already... I wanna cry out loud !!!

At the same time, I dont think I deserve to cry because during weekends, I did plan to study for engineering design but the other part of me said that I shouldnt study and take this opportunity to take a rest !

I should have study ah !!! Now it seems like I dont have the time to study even though I revise everyday after sch, its just not enough because I am a forgetful person !

Bye for now, me gonna study now,

Btw, my last last week grade

OB-B
ED-A
SCI-B
PS-C
MATHS-A

I got total of 3 A already, not very contended, my test gonna aim A !!!

Beautiful Saturday

Hey there !!! :D
I was very happy because...

HELLO KITTY FROM MACDONALD !!!
I thought I wasnt gonna have any of the hello kitty collection because that period of time which they release the first type. I was sick and wasnt be able to get it !
Ytd night, my mom called and asked wanna have mac or not, I was thinking maybe yes since brother and I been studying ! Btw, my brother reach home at around night time and he study right after he reach home ! No rest or whatsoever ! Crazy !!!
YUP !!! we had late dinner, super late dinner as a family because later at night, dad got back home :D
Long time never like this le. And the moment I finish my late dinner, mom said, there was hello kitty !
I was like SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE XDXD SO CUTE !!!! :D:D Then jumping around happily
and yup ! Mom bought 2 actually, one for me, one for her colleagues' daughter :D
I do like hello kitty too :D hahaha Even though I said I have switch but maybe not as crazy as froggy cos froggy hard to find :( and hello kitty is like everywhere !

Btw, I didnt study much AGAIN ! Sigh, spend my time with mom and aunt. Listening to them, talking and etc. Later on, watch teevee with brother and mom. Follow by nap time ! Because last night I slept at 2am plus near 3am. :P
Anyway, I schedule this post is because I worry that I might not be able to come back to blogger or smth.
So byeee :D

Average day, perhaps ?

:P Hi, time  flies and its 1st of june ! What have I done for the past half year ?
SO much to mention... hahahaha.

I dont think I spend my time wisely. I study a little bit here and there = ???
LOLS and I spent my time sleeping.... The more I sleep the more tired I feel.

I think I gonna continue study later on at 9pm... thus.. I gonna schedule this post ! :P
Oh yeah, I've been alone at home since ytd when I got back to sch and today this whole day...
Yeap, I do like it but after that, I just feel like I am living in my own world and everyone is drifting away from me...

Orientation for my course

Hi, went to the orientation programme.
It was fun because I contributed so much team work. When I come to think of it, I am the only chinese girl inside the orientation :P

Anyway, we sit in grp of 7 and we played game and also listen to those faci talk.
Its like they are my role model, motivated me to work hard... hahaha.
The game was fun, I realise that I manage to remember all the names quite fast. LOLS.
I getting more and more bold because I keep on volunteer.
Also, I help my team mates when they in need.

A lot of games, we have team spirit and we win !!! :D Very happy about it
On the other hand, a girl keep pushing/ pulling me and I fall down. hahaha Now my backbone hurts.
Btw, I think I going overseas, school trip if my parents allow. :P

1st week of study break

Hi there, 1st week of study break is here !!!!
I spent my time going to school to revise with my grp of ITE friends :D
They were x 100000 better than my poly friends actually. hahaha

Of course there were negative stuff going on too...
Like actual meeting time is at 9am however !!! Some people still sleeping when its already 9am.
Luckily I do housechores first while waiting for them to wake up =.=
End up we meet later and have like so little time to study.

Tuesday and wednesday also the same.

However, I feel that wednesday is the day which I think I spend my time wisely because I manage to cover 3chapters of OB. hahaha I have better understanding :D I gonna buck up cause I still got a lot of stuff need to study. 5 modules, 5 chapters for each module, so 25 chapters to study ! No time at all !!! GRRR

Someone

Hi, I am living in my own world, I've been going home early because I feel that home is where I can only get love and warmth from. I can only depend on myself and only myself.

These few days, when I was talking to someone. Someone1 just doesn't talk like how the way someone used to be. It just make me feel like "okay... its my fault, kthxbai". I'm like making a fool out of myself.

It seems like everything its just taken from granted. Never ever cherish it. Always aiming to the people who are better than me, to make friends with them. If fail, come back to me. Same goes to other people surrounding me, like my classmate, only hang out with smart ass. Maths question, one small mistake or even other module, put me down. I am not perfect, I make mistakes too !

Another thing is, leaving me for someone else. Then, when people ask someone2 why is it that you guys are so close even though your just know each other for 1month. Someone2 say, cause we watch anime while YeJia dint watch anime, not much stuff to talk about. Thus, like her3 more than me. I was like...hahaha... I didn't say anything its because that time I wasn't suppose to go to school cause I was sick and I dint have the mood to talk back or give any comment.

Someone2 and someone3, got very close after I intro them to each other. They behave like as though they are BFF. Laugh, joke around and many more. While I am the one who will just walk behind them, like I have never exist... Even if I were to join them, its hard... because they only pay attention to each other...
They even treat each other food, which never happen to me before... And, whenever there is lecturer talk, I would help them to book the seats. They just sit there and did nothing, continue playing with reach other. My class ended late. I have to sit somewhere else instead... That day, I told them, you know I feel outcast. They went, hey don't say this type of things and then said, I am so sorry... After that, the same old thing happen again. Until I told someone2, you know, when you have no one, you come to me. Someone2, got angry with what I had said. Ain't I, the one suppose to get angry ? This is just ridiculous !!!

Later on, one night, someone4 asked me the number of someone2. I gave it to someone4 and I asked why, because I am curious. But no reply... I told myself that, its okay... you are not alone... be happy.
Yeah, everyday I study and do whatever I like. While they, everyday on their skype/msn chatting there happily.

Sometimes, they do show concern for me like, say take care and ask if I am okay when I am sick.
However, only ask me when I am alone. After said finish those line, they went back having fun with one another. Let me think that, they show concern for the sake of showing it, having fun is much more important.

I am just extra, a fool, a nobody to everyone. I've been keeping this to myself... I think its time to let it out.

Blur

I did lots of stuff today.
I went to gmarket.edu.sg
I give the wrong info to my friend
I pay the wrong stuff

Sigh... old already thats why. Was sick so couldnt go visit ah gong ! Next week perhaps
I did revision today and I read a lot today.

Donor
O+ O+ A+ AB+ B+
O- everyone
A+ A+ AB+
A- A- A+ AB- AB+
B+ B+ AB+
B- B- B+ AB- AB+
AB+ AB+
AB- AB- AB+

Recipient
O+ O+ O-
O- O-
A+ A+ A- O+ O-
A- A- O-
B+ B+ B- O+ O-
B- B- O-
AB+ everone
AB- AB- B- A- O-

There are so much need to study...
Anyway, I guess I need to get a boyfriend soon.

Hi, I feel like I am dying soon.
I spam water and a lot more of other stuff and yet doesnt seems to get any better.
I got a feeling that I dont have enough nutrient because I only have a proper meal only at dinner time !
Sigh ! Anyway, today's weather was great, am loving it. I nap for more than 6 hours which I think was amazing.
hahaha ! Mom was quite worried abt me because of my health condition.

Talking about mom, the other day which is tuesday, she actually told me that she is going overseas on the July and I burst into tears. I asked her, if she can dont go for that trip...  I AM WORRIED ABT MY MOM !!!!

Sigh !!! I wana sleep soon. All the best for everyone. Good night.

A maths

Hi, we have A maths today & everyone was stress about it, give up and etc...

For me, my team members keep asking me how to do and I have to teach everyone.

After that, other people from other team come and ask me to teach them, I was like O.o

Its like their own grp have people who are good in A maths, why is it that they have to come !

Yeah, I was exhausted when teaching them, because a lot of them ask me questions... then If I answer them wrongly, they put all the blame on me. Which happen like a few times already... 

And I taught my friend Amaths too. I ask the faci to check my answers and working, to my surprise, I only got 2 wrong because of careless mistake which is what I was happy abt because I long time never touch maths already.

I start to think, if I can actually do this well in Olvl, I could actually go into a poly ! BLABLABLA

Anyway, was sick again, fever ! Yet still doing A maths ! :P Like a boss. hahaha, crazy me ! 

Study Break for the next 2 weeks, gonna rest as much as I can. 

Engineering Design

YO, I have lots of fun today in engineering design because I get to "show off" my talent by painting the bin ! HEHEHE Actually I only paint the lid and 2 sides of the bin which I am contended with it already. hahaha
I also felt that I have somehow break down the boundary towards some people in my team. :D

Wanna see the bin ? :D

I paint de :D 

One of my team members paint de :D 

                                                                         
                                                                             Yours truly paint de :D

School day !

Hello ! Today, we have OB module and was told to do role playing. 

I was actually quite shy at the very first place but I dont know why I actually volunteer in the role playing !

Crazy me, after the end of the class, I rush over to the physics talk with chua ming and the rest of them.

Later at night, chua ming, dini and I were doing RJ in the library. We had pastamania !!!!! OMG my first time. And I dont know how to order, furthermore, the lady talk so fast ! I was like o.O ??? 

Anyway, I feel like I am destroying my image for that day. Because even tot I talk to chua ming on msn. Talking on msn and talk in real life is like 2 different things and yeah actually for me is the same cos I am like crazy as ever !!! LOLS I joke everytime, so do not take me seriously eh... hehehe 

At home

Hey there, so there's no school for me. Therefore I am staying at home.
Actually my ITE friends were calling me to go out but I did not join them cause my mom wants me to have a good rest at home cos I am still sick. Yup both my parents were sick and mom was down with high fever.
I dont know if its because I pass the germs to her or what.

I just done my maths and science revision. Which I think I did the revision pretty fast. LOLS.
hahaha. maybe cause I have been doing it like almost everyday ? Not very sure either.
Anyway, I gonna rant, I feel like my friend around me thinks that they are very pretty and look down on me.
Look down on my cos of my formal wear I guess. hahaha. whatever. They just like to hang out with pretty girls. Me ? nah, wait long long.

That precious moment-ITE Graduation Ceremony 2012

Today was a very sentimental day. Because I am officially graduated from ITE.
I have to say that I am proud to be an ITE student and I have fun and laughter throughout these 2 years of my ITE life.
Not to forget, the stressful road that make us go crazy and sometimes even argue with one another.
However, these make us even stronger and stay as close together as before.
This day, 16/5/2012 will always stay in my heart. :)

Btw, after the graduation ceremony, we went to Sakae Sushi for dinner ! My second time having Sakae Sushi. hahaha. & Alfred took a photo of me when I was walking. The picture was kinda dark, so I make it brighter. :/

& ABC was yup, good enough to nearly helping me when I am wearing my heels because I was struggling with my heels. He would stay there with me, walk with me and sit with me. Thankyou !!! :D
Have a great day with everyone :D & If your wondering, 16-18 is RP Graduation, so no need to go to school. :)

Enduring

Hi, is it alright for me to blog every weekend ? :)
Monday I did not attend lesson because I was down with high fever ! I sleep at home and etc.
& people from my class was "caring" the moment I online. A guy came and ask me where I am and ask me a lot of qns like what is my temperature and blablabla. It seems like they dont trust me.

The rest of the day still alright, just that I have a like a lot of feelings...
I feel that my classmate werent that helpful, they are like smart pple...
And I feel like my classmate is getting more and more dangerous... I dont know who to trust...
I mean like, when i need a pair of listening ear... like. because I want to talk to someone whom have a better understanding of the situation in class... I dont feel comfortable too cos I feel like they are stalking me or smth...

I wanna get out of this class asap.
&&

My grades for last week
OB-C
Science-C
Problem Solving-C
Maths-B+

Sigh !!!!

My grades for this week havent out yet ! T.T Exam coming in less than 4 weeks time T.T

Waiting

Hi, I am done preparing, waiting to go to the hospital to visit my relative.
I also dont know what happen exactly. I only know since ytd night that my relative fall down and hurt the ankle.
Cannot walk, only can use wheelchair. I am now quite worried because, the hospital like cannot anyhow go in or smth. I am having a very bad headache now. I think its because of the sore throat which causes it.

LOLS. And how do I get sore throat ? Very simple. Because everyday rushing ppt & crack the brain to do work. Therefore, there are not time to have a proper lunch. Only have time for a quick bite. Like bread or cookies. But I never eat anything cos the food there were expensive. Just a little small stuff can cost so much la. Which is not worth it. So After class, I would stay in library and study till 8pm plus and went dinner with HuiJu and Dini. Yes, late dinner. Guess what we have for dinner ? Fast food. I am sick and tired of having fast food.
But we have no choice, cause the causeway point have no foodcourt ! Only have fast food, further more huiju stay quite far. Its not fair for her to travel somewhere else right. So yeah... Eat fast food.

Partly, its my fault because I never take good care of myself by spamming lots of water ! And another thing is, whenever I reach home, it will be like 10pm plus ? I bathed and I went straight to bed without waiting for my hair to dry. I think this also very unhealthy. But I got no choice because, even if I am sitting on a chair, I also fall asleep. Just like the other day, I havent do my RJ and one of my classmate were complaining to me that his laptop spoil or smth. I was chatting with him till I fall asleep. I wake up at around 5.30am then to realise that I never off my laptop and I said sorry to him by leaving him an offline msg. Lucky enough that my RJ got to hand in the next day before 11.59am. LOLS.

So, can you feel how tired I am ? Plus those sickness like sore throat which for me, can lead to fever, before fever is headache. AHHHHHHH. Okay, I guess I got to go now. Everyone is ready. & I just had panadol LOLS

Happy Vesak Day

Hi there, I was suppose to do my RJ now. But I have no idea what to write & I kinda regretted going for the talk.

This is the RJ...

Come up with a business idea which you think will qualify for the ACE start-up funding. (100 words) *

hmmm, I should have went for the PPT talk instead, that teach us how to make a good powerpoint/presentation slides. 

If I go for the PPT talk, I can at least learn smth that I need to do every single day. & I can get 1 cce points without doing RJ.

Then, the ACE talk is about starting up a business. Only some people who want to start up their own business will be interested. & I can get 1 cce points only when I do the RJ (above). Furthermore, I am not interested in starting up my own business. I seriously dont know what am I thinking that time. =.= I just go and sign up.

(FYI: we need to have 40CCE points, in order to graduate from poly)

Anyway, monday's module OB, organisational behaviour. I got C just because I am a reserved person and I dont put in effort/talk to my team mates. I think its because of the RJ that I wrote to my faci. I wrote that, I am a person who doesnt talk much unless its my close friend/family members. And cause, I am working as a team, I find it hard to talk to communicate with my team mates as all of them are boys. Right now, I am trying to overcome this problem and try to talk to them... 

Whatever it is, she wanna drop my grade then drop is not that I never try. 

The rest of the module still okay, I guess. Just that I need time to bond with my classmate.

In ITE, i in 2nd year then got very close to my classmate one. So yeah !!! 1st year in ITE not really.

oh yeah, btw, the maths module, am loving it, wahahaha ! I finally clear my doubt on completing the square & the maximum/minimum curve. Its like I cant even do those qns when I am in secondary sch. 

I attended a talk on thursday. I mean my course programme chair wanted to talk to us.

And he changed my mind. Because I was thinking of changing course after my year 1 in poly.

But he said that, Singapore need many engineers. Perhaps, that is why they open lots of space in engineering course in every poly. He even said that, engineering can earn big bucks.

And yeah, he even said that, if we work hard in this 3 years in that course. We can go to university.

We can choose whatever course we want except for law & medicine. See how great it is ?

If I were to appeal to game design, I think I can only go to university given a limited course to choose from.

LOLS. I got so many things to talk abt ... the other one is comics IG ( CCA).

When to the IG yesterday and we were taught to draw a straight line using ruler.

Vertical and horizontal line. then draw circle and draw stick man. Starting from the basic.

Then what I dislike abt is that the seniors treat me like transparent. They see my work already, they never comment. Only nodding their head and went to assist other people. 

I got very tired and also kinda frustrated... hmmm... to be exact should be irritated. Because we were told to go other place to play ice breaking games. Which I dont like it la. Then I tell huiju and dini :" I am here to learn drawing, not to know anyone. Plus I havent finish my RJ yet." Then they, say:" yes, we are here to learn drawing." Then I think the senior heard our conversation, then he offered to help with my RJ. 

So, I still do it by myself la ! I mean I dont want pple to help me to do my stuff cos I wanna learn it and do my own. I need to do my stuff and go to the hospital later. BYEBYE :D

 

Updates.

Hi there ! A quick update of last week. LOLS Time flies, its the first of may ! :D

Anyways, last week was like a disaster. Lots of unhappy stuff going on.
Monday, - pple not helping me etc & talk abt soccer, BOYS !
Tuesday, - I was very quiet in the grp.
Wednesday, - Struggling with science topic on genes, like I said got scolding & still survive.
Thursday, - Also a disaster because leo system is down, was not able to submit my RJ. Therefore, I email my RJ to the faci & she graded me D and said I did not submit my RJ. WTF. I am gonna confront with her on thursday.
Friday, - Was alright. :D

SO the best day of the week is on friday. wtf.
Here is my grade for last week.
The reason I gonna post it so that I can motivate myself to do better.
Not to show off pls. I got a D, so whats the thing to show off ? RIGHT RIGHT?!

Organisational Behavious - B
Engineering Design - B
Science - C
Problem Solving - D
Maths - B+

LOLS hi ! Sorry, I have this habit of blogging half way then do other stuff because I need to be inspire.
So yeah, I went to check my email & the faci email me and changed my grade from D to B ! WOOHOO
its a very far jump LOLS. Getting a B I'm very contended.


Organisational Behavious - B
Engineering Design - B
Science - C
Problem Solving - B
Maths - B+ 


Since my science like forever getting C, so I play cheat... :X I actually got 6P frm my ex ITE sch mate.
Cos he actually went to RP during first half of the first year in ITE. Yup. today I spend the whole day looking at the slides.

- I want to be useful in my team
-Help them
-I dont want to get scolding again wtf
-I want to understand abit first before I go to class
-I dont want to be blur sotong in class

Yeah. but I stuck a certain slides cos I dont know how to do it or what lols. I need help !! T.T
When you free, come and help me okay ? :D:D:D

Anyway, happy labour day :D I gonna schedule a post which is abt ytd, its damn funny ! LOLS so stay tune.
Meanwhile, I am tired, like always. LOLS.

Hi, I am in class now and I was soooo disappointed with my result this week.
My engineering design drop to B.
Yet, everybody keep telling me that getting a B is a very very good result already.

So, my question is, do you think so ?

Why

2nd week of school was worse than 1st week.
Some team mates start to show their true colours.
And one of my team for one of the module screw up.
Ended up, I rushed home after revision in sch. Help them with the worksheet on the phone.
Till late in the night...
Then, leo system down, cannot submit my RJ and etc... worst ever, got to email my faci.

Now, cos of korea trip need to apply for LOA. Worse RP holiday system ever.
And, I am suffering in silence, hiding in my bed tearing. People keep saying that I will be able to make friends in poly.
I tell you,
IT IS NOT EASY TO MAKE FRIENDS IN POLY, NOT JUST RP.
everyone is independent. Yes, me too. I got xin shi, I keep to myself. No one I can trust.
I wanna share with someone, but I only choose to share with someone whom I am close with.

I keep losing appetite. Eat only bread/cookies for the pass few weeks...
Busy with work and getting tired when I reached home.
No time for facebook, youtube or any other stuff which I like to do most.

I keep thinking why am I not important to someone close to me.
Why is it that you cant hear me just a 15 or 10 or 5mins.
there are so many why inside my mind...
Why cant you just show concern for me.......

Outcast

Hi, I gonna blog a proper post since I am waiting for my hair to dry.

As you can see from the title, outcast.
Outcast from where ?
-ITE.

Yes, you people might think that, we all were once friends or very close grp of friends in ITE.
After graduating, we will be drifted apart cos of Poly friends and etc. But no ah...
My ITE friends were always together after school. In twitter, post pictures do stuff all together.
I feel so outcast. They will talk to me and etc. They even want me to share my day with them.
But you know what. Why is it that there is a need to share my day with them when I am outcast from them ?
They see me as a Hi-bye friend. And nothing else.

-Poly.
Classmates, yeah, they started to bond well when times goes by.
Not much conflicts but on monday, I wasnt feeling well yet the guys in my grp throw me to do everything. And make fun of me. At the end of the day they asked me to rest and said sorry to me.
Today, i group with other pple and was being scolded stupid after clearing my doubts. hahaha.
I am such a loner in class. I am trying my best... I am enduring...

Now I think about it. I only have Damian, dini, huiju and eddie. No one else.

Anyway, my result for last week daily grade all out.

Engineering Design - A
Problem Solving - B
Maths - B
Science - C

Holes

Hi, why holes ? :O
Sad to say, my bag, that very big brown colour bag which was bought from zinc got hole !
I think it is because I put too many stuff inside that causes the bag to be very heavy and tore a little :(

Addition to the pair of shoe ! That shoe was bought like around last year august or something.
I dont know why I wear the shoe till got hole. And can see my smallest toe. Then when everybody sees it, they say., " AWW, its so cute !!" Therefore, I wear sock and everybody will say " I see what your toe doing there~"
My shoe was terribly tore... other than the hole areas... the shoe expand and it become really big for me... When I ran to catch a bus the other time, my shoe drop off and I ran back to get my shoe. LOLS.

Bought a bag ytd at BHG, got backbone support. Previously the bag doesnt have any backbone support.
And my backbone hurts very much. Also, can put my laptop inside too ^^
Because I am SHORT. Therefore, I cant carry a big/heavy bag. This bag from Nike very expensive but it can last me very long too ! :D I keep staying there to make decision until everyone keep telling me to take that expensive bag. LOLS. Good for my backbone. I took the red colour because it is nice. The display set red colour bag is the last piece @.@ Selling so good !

Bought a pair of shoe from G market. Yes the brand called Toms, quality is good and comfy, heard that it is very expensive around $85/$90(selling at orchard). I see the Gmarket retail price is $98 !!!
Yet, Gmarket selling at $14 !!!! Plus $5, which I dont know why either. LOLS maybe cause of the size.
So it will be $19 dollar. Mom also bought the shoe. Thus, it will be $38. Add $2 cos of the shipping fee.
Total will be $40 !!! TELL ME CHEAP OR NOT !!! LOLS

Yeah. Tmr I will be bringing my new bag to school. :)
Anyway, I HAVE NOT DONE ANY REVISION YET COS I busy with my family and RP admin stuff...
RP system really can go bang wall...

Reflection

1st week of school just over and yup. I have so many things to say but I dont know where to start. Neither do I think anyone would be interested in my first week of poly life. 

Basically, I dont have anyone to share my 1st week of poly life. So I will just gonna share it here.

Monday, we dont have any class or smth. We were just told to go to our respective classroom that we gonna head to the next day. 

Engineering Design, I am weak at it and yeah...

Science, I am weak too...

Problem solving, at least I know how to shoot back when pple shoot me with problem...

Math, I become power ranger because of the indices.

My bag got hole, my shoe got hole... sigh... 

My ITE friends all now having fun outside.

While I am here typing and wish that someone could talk to me... 

But there's none. I am a FOREVERALONE !!!

The very first day of Poly life.

Hello, today is tuesday, suppose to be second day of school.
But we only officially start lesson today. Because ytd, we went to our class and we get to see our classmate and a lot of stuff to know and etc. Because we learn stuff and do assignment through the RP system, which is inside our laptop called LEO.

I wanna make friend with the girl sitting beside me ytd, But she seem to show no interest in making friend with me. Yet today she laugh and talk so loudly to one of the guy in her team. Okay nevermind.

So, yeah today was the first day of school. As in, we study and etc.
I reached school very early. Cos we got to be in class 15 mins earlier.
Settled down and then the faci (our lecture, in RP we call them faci) tell us to go to our team.

Went to my team and talk to some of them... for self intro.
Was kinda happy that I talk to them, better than nothing right ?
Then we started to solve the qns... As in, the problem for the day.
I felt so hopeless. The one and only thing I can do is to draw and give them to put into the ppt.
Is like, they learn stuff so fast. While I am like so slow. I keep on asking them qns and they keep explain to me again and again. I am happy about it. Yet at the same time, I got worried because I unknowingly show my weakness(my problem, understanding lvl v low, learn things slow) Its like I scare that I leave a very bad impression for them. And afraid that after 5 weeks, the grp disperse, they will tell other pple that I am a slow learner or smth.

I feel that today I didnt contribute much because I dont understand abt the module and I think I perform badly too. Sigh... I just hope that tmr will be a better day.

About making friends in my class, yes. The guys in my class bond very well. While girls also the same but.
Some do come and talk to me. Some dont even come and talk to me. My own team do not say bye to me when they leaving. I was really very scared, i dont know if did I do something wrong ? Or did I do something that they dont like ?

Ps: Got one flirter in my class flirt with china girl.... hais... why guys are like that ?

A brand new environment.

Hey guys. Long time no see, how are you ? hahaha

Yesh, I went to do the enrollment in RP and I went down to RP every single day except weekends.
I did all the document stuff with my parents. As well as buying a laptop. hahaha. Yup.

Anyway, my laptop brand is HP Envy 15. Weight : 2.1kg... Its really v heavy @.@
With beatsaudio.

Update
Hello, yeah. I am sorry for blogging halfway. Was busy with my poly stuff. I worried too much of it and make myself moody and then dont feel like doing anything.
So I was saying that I got a lappy HP Envy 15... Well, it wasnt my choice of getting that lappy.
All the while, I only thought of getting Fujitsu. I got HP cos my dad wasnt happy that I choose other laptop.
Plus I want my day to be happy, since my parents going down with me to my new school. Which they havent been like that for years. Thus, I give in and got the HP lappy. The first time holding on to it. It was seriously heavy...

After buying the laptop, went to configure it. While waiting, went to have Subway with parents and I eat half way, I left. And went to the place cos I was kinda worried abt my lappy. :/ Waited for hours and finally I can reset password and etc. hahaha. But due to my forgetfulness. The moment I set finish my password, I forget.
So I got to reset again and wait again... Btw, we need to set like so many password... T.T
Then, in the end, my mom turn to pissed off then everybody pissed off. Hais... I so stress already plus they pissed off. I feeling v frustrated la... T.T

I was hiding away from Eudora also. Cos I dont wish to see her. She went around asking pple which course I got in. She know already still ask me, what she want sia ? And she even confronted with me cos of this.
WTF !!!

Lets talk abt he orientation. I same grp as her because, she dont want to be alone. Then, she go join School of Engineering (SEG). End up meeting us all to go to sch and same grp as her. -.- She keep sticking to me and once I left her. She will spam me with smses and calls. -.- Then I was v hot, doesnt wanna stand so close to her yet she still stand so close. Stand at my place watching concert. WTF.
She, herself, make use of me to make new friends and get close to them. Throw me aside. Nevermind. I dont need her anyway. These 3 days, I get annoyed by her. She didnt cheer and she said she is having loads of fun. She keep quiet and etc... NOTHING ELSE. I think her mind smth wrong. I know I shouldnt care abt her but seriously as long as she does not appear infront of me, I am fine with it.

1st day, we played some game, some were fun. I injured myself and I told Eudora but she didnt care anyway, as expected ! I try to make some friends whom are from china and some malay guy. Those china girl thought I was some alien like that -.-
But another pair of china girl are really v friendly, looking chio like korean too ! I like them ^^.
Btw, 2nd day got less than 10pple in the grp. Its okay, we went to look at what CCA(IG-interest grp which is called in RP) they offer and there were like A LOT !
I sign up for comic cos I can draw, since I cant continue design courses... :( Then Eudora go join also.
Why join when cant draw ? We continue to see other CCA, again, she ask we all to join the CCA that she interested in. Sorry no way. We are not you. Later on, she show me attitude cos, I needa help HuiJu to sign up for the comic CCA. Then I ask her to go sign up for the photography CCA, so that no need to waste so much time. She said, meet us at the comic booth. I said no need cos since we need to go through the photography CCA to proceed to our home base. Then she give attitude lo. hahaha, give la, I say de stuff got logic one. Unless u scare we all went missing ?! Everytime ask u urself to go sign up first, always ask we all to wait for u and stay close together. If get lost, go back home base la. Like as if you dont know where is the home base. Then, we return to the home base, we learn cheer, she went off with those china girl a couple of min and I was alone. Cos she got a best seat for herself. While I dont have any. The cheer wasnt really fun cos I cant hear clearly... I cant rmb well...
3rd day, I enjoy myself. Dance and etc. SCREAM !!! LOLS. I got damn irritated in the night, I think cos I was v dirty and wannna bathe. I sunburn also. Plus she irritate me v much also. Sigh...

These weekend, I went out and see lots of girls wearing almost the same... I dont know why... Why they cant dress up themselves and keep follow other pple ? I felt sad also... cos tmr gonna get to know my new classmate and there's lots of guys and most of them are malay ! I got realy v worried... that I skip my meal...
Plus got a few attack cos pple are drifting away from me... btw, my lappy charger spoil...

Currently.

Ever since I know which poly I going, I didnt rest enough and lost of appetite.
Diarrhoea strikes in the middle of the night... followed by flu and sore throat.
Right now, I am spamming Chrysanthemum tea.

Tmr, I'll be heading down to my new school. Got to buy a new lappy.
And I not sure which lappy is good and cheap. What do you guys think ?

Intense period...

Hello. These few days a lot of stuff happening around.

Friends, can no longer be the same anymore... They only think abt themselves. Can even betray people...
When I need them, they werent there. Some were so fake... Some even scolded me, argue with me... when I am at my lowest point...

Most of my friends have boyfriend. One of my junior, whom I've been talking abt in one of the post.
Yeah, ytd I went out with her after settling my stuff... I dont know why I feel that, when I am out with her, she is not happy... I dont know why... Everytime(not just ytd) when talking to her, she will indirectly shoot me. And give me that type of face... sigh...

Poly, chances is there for me but I keep letting it go... Chances were there again and again... But I let go of it...
At this point, I can only blame myself for being a coward... Scare of this and that and dont dare to give it a try.

Now, regret got use ? No use, just face it and be strong be brave.

STAND ALONE !!! I know i can do it... just be brave... I do it before, so plssss continue !!!!!!!! GOGOGOGO

I am so screw up.

Hi... Ytd I went to RP to see if I can appeal for the Game Design course.
They ask for my result slip. They see my result, very happy. They ask me which course I want.
I said I want Game Design. The person said its full. Then, I choose another course again and said its full.
Basically almost all the courses are full in RP.

Went to NP, to ask the criteria to appeal. I gonna appeal for my first choice; Animation and 3Darts.
Over there saw, Shirley and her boyfriend and the boyfriend's friend. After having lunch, which I didnt eat anything cos I was preparing for the appeal letter... Ramon, Shirley, Shirley's bf and I went over to SP.

Wanna ask the criteria but it somehow got to do with DAE. Furthermore, they say got to went through interview. There's so many procedure and I still have to register for the course in RP first... = Have to pay sch fees. What if, lets say I am lucky. I got into NP. Then, I can withdraw from RP but the school fees how ? T.T

Hais... ytd morning I dont feel right at all. Gonna go to those poly and walk so much. hahaha... and didnt eat anything... End up my fever got worse, 39.1... Having this fever to organise my stuff and get ready for later on appealing...Lucky Shirley willing to meet up with me... If not, I guess I die outside with this type of fever, nobody also know. Yeah, and pple say that I stress myself too much and thats how the fever come...

Another thing is, I know why I didnt get the letter from NYP. Cos I realise that I forget to give them my home address !!!! GRRRR !!!!

Kay, the end... I am so screw up, guess everyone who's reading this will say I stupid and etc.
Start to dislike me or dislike me even more...

Which courses.

 I dont mind which poly I going. What I mind is the courses that I'm going to study.
Yeah I have been having nightmare every night. I cried in my dream.
First, abt my dad leaving us, leaving this world.
Second, abt my GPA, score badly.
Third, abt going to the Architecture courses which is not part of my 5options.

Abt my dad, yeah, am keeping an eye on him... I went to sao mu with him and accompany him to go anywhere.
Its my fault that I sleep late, wake up late. And delay his time. I am he is angry with me. But after awhile, he is not angry anymore. We watch monkey jumping from tree to tree at Mandai... We went chinatown and make fun of me wearing a long apron cos I wear short shorts which is not allow in the temple.
When I am hungry, he bought food for me. Sharing the food. Bringing me to the places of the chinatown which he goes there often. Bring me to see the advertisement of a girl who look exactly like me and make him remind of how I look like during my prom nite... Sitting on a long bus journey back home and feed me with strepsils sweet... kay, enough... I just wanna spend a moment with him, even if smth really happen, I wanna cherish those moments... and never live with regret...

Abt GPA... I wake up at 7.30am. Waiting... login at 8am sharp, no result... 8.01am...8.02am... 8.03am...
yeah, refresh quite a no. of times and yeahh... was shocked...

FYP - B
Game packaging -B
Total of GPA 3.
Cumulative GPA 2.6

I know that I have give my very best. Cos B is a v good grade already. A ? yeah, dream on.
Unless ur design all these are superior !!! Yeah, I even ask myself. why cant I get A ?
People's work all better than mine, put in so much effort...

Then I came to realise that, yes, some pple get A for FYP, v few of them... but most of them
from 3pointer drop to 2 pointer. I was really v surprised... Some pple improve, but not much...
I start to worry or should I say, I worry for a long time, will I get into poly ? With GPA 2.6 ? Will I get called to go interview ? Then, my portfolio ? How am I going to survive with my portfolio ? What am I going to show inside ? What am I suppose to do ? Will I be given a course that is not part of y 5 options ?

I dont know... I feel so stress and angry and sad !
Result will only be out tmr 2pm... Then I will get to know the path which I am going to...

Wu Tou Dong Gong/Love is beautiful.

Hi there.
Recently, I was watching drama, yup. :X
All day long LOLS. Actually I have been wanting to watch this drama long time ago.
But never had the chance to... I even ask my mom the name of the drama, because I forget already.

When I was younger that time, I watch this drama. Due to some reasons I stop. FYI, I watch with my mom.
hehehehe, yup. I always watch drama with my mom.

I watch that drama again for the past few days.
I did banner for damian and also for myself. I teacher my junior how to do a v simple blogskin...
Feel contended...

The day after USS.

Helloooo ! The day after USS, yup. Even though I sleep v early. LOLS. Maybe not so early.
Yet I still feeling tired, extremely tired and body aching all over. hahaha.
I think its cos of the roller coaster ! :P

Do things half way, fall asleep and wake up an sleep again. LOLS.
I not sure if its cos I took nap v long or what that I cant sleep at night and ended up doing banner till v late at night. Do a new blogskin also ! I like it. Been admiring it secretly. (Now, its not a secret anymore.hehehe)

Fun & Exciting @ Universal Studio Singapore :D

I was late today, suppose to meet @ 9am.
I reach around 9.15am. Had long john sliver as breakfast and the breakfast.
I ate one piece of toast only... Cos I dont have the habit eating early in the morning.
Plus its very oily...

We took the train into sentosa after that.
Aunt's friend( they call him boss) paid for the ticket first.
We went into the USS and yup, its like Alice in the wonderland... hahaha.
Another friend of Aunt, went to sit the transformer ride. (shall call her Betty)

Then, the 3 of us, aunt, boss and me went on to the battlestar ride.
Have to deposit our bags first. I wanted to play the human ride first, cos there's no 360 degree.
I dont know why end up going to the blue ride when I reach the top.
I was so nervous !!! Cos I know that if I play 360 degree, I will vomit.
Was v scared too... I see pple board the ride and reach the destination like 1min or less. O.O !!!
But they reach with their hair flying all over LOLS. messy hair T.T

Yeah, our turn, v nervous, took off the sandal and sit on the ride.
Here comes the exciting part. When its moving up, I keep screaming !!! LOLS.
Then dont know why, when it went much more faster, I cant scream, plus, hardly can keep my eye open.
I guess its the wind that keep going into my mouth LOLS.
I open my eyes once awhile. The sensation was like WOW. hahahaha.
Its v fast and I dont feel like there's 360 degree when I know there is.
When I see the ride again, I feel that I am brave because there's somehow got a few of body dropping down !
Just that I feel very dizzy.

After the blue ride, we went to look for betty but she somehow like ...
she dont dare to ride the transformer ride and we went to Q up and accompany her.
Btw, the Q was seriously v long and we Q up like an hour...
The ride was awesome. We have to wear 3D glasses and there's 4D effect.
There's fire where u can feel the heat and also water spraying. Not to forget, the wind also !
Its like sitting on a roller coaster. The force was so huge that I am having a hard time grabbing on the handle.
I keep leaning forward and especially there is this part where we were from top drop to bottom.
I grab the handle like GRRR !!! CRAZY !!!

My aunt's friend, betty keep on grabbing my aunt. Cos she dont like to sit on those rides.
She dont feel safe at all.

Went for the monster rock show... Its still okay la... lols

We move on to the Madagascar kiddy ride. hehehehe.
As usual the Q was long but its okay to wait. I AM WILLING TO WAIT ! Its quite fast though and its our turn ! We board the ride and there is this child behind us afraid to sit down. So the parents hold on to her while she is standing. But the crew say, she must sit down if not the ride wont move. Therefore, they try to make their child sit down. But the child dont want and keep crying. At last, they get off the ride lo T.T
Anyway, the ride was fun !!! I try to take photo inside but it turn out blur !
Then inside got " I like to move it move it I like to move it move it. I like to move it move it. I like to MOVE IT"

Went to sit on the Shrek 4D. We sit at the v back and wear the 3D glasses. The chair isnt moving at all.
While other empty chair were moving vigorously. Everything was AWESOME LA !!!
We play the kiddy ride, at the  mummy place there. I forget the name. The Q took v long and end up not fun one !!! Just a ride riding one round !!!

After that we went for the mummy ride !!! :D:D:D Actually among all the rides, I look forward de is the mummy ride. Cos I only heard of mummy ride, and the red and blue rides. I thought I would never sit on the blue and red rides de. So I keep on searching on youtube abt the mummy rides, so that I am well prepared.
Yeah... went going in, I cant really see, got to hold on to the wall and walk. hahaha walk v slow also T.T
Got one time, I bang on some stuff, which I dont know whats that. Then reach the top, it become brighter but still not so bright. Can see abit. And YESH !!! First row. Its so suspend and keep on up down up down. LOLS. Backward also !!! AWESOME !!!!!!! But inside v dark... Miss quite a lot of stuff...

We walk around taking pictures and went to have lunch ! The roasted chicken rice cost 10.50 !!!
Not nice also lo !! Really not worth it !!! And as usual I cant finish that cup of soft drinks. Thats the reason why I dont like soft drinks also. In the end, boss help me drink finish ! HAHAHA.

I was worried that I might vomit if I play something too exciting or ... you know... hahahaha.
I thought were going to ride the ride that is hanging in the air in the Jurrasic park there. So I just Q up with my aunt they all and then realise that we gonna play the water one. LOST WORLD !!! hahaha,
unti the tunnel that part, was v dark cant see at all one. Then we take the lift... hahahaha Half of me is wet.

The best thing is, we went for the red ride. WOOHOOOO !!! I wanna scream but the air go in to my mouth ! Cant scream and  v windy. Can enjoy the view, LOLS. but I close and open my eyes many times... T.T Who ask me sit so infront... T.T okay la... hmm.... Yup, I got down from the ride I was dry !!! HAHAHAHA Free dryer XDXDXD

Yup ! Boss, aunt and betty. Boss go break his battlestar record while we all go play transformer ride again.
This time round, not v scare liao, know what to do. LOLS.
We all walk and shop around. And watch the water world show which was so amazing. Had dinner over there and while waiting for my dessert, we miss the firework... T.T My fault. And I bought souvenir for my family members ! :D
Was a great and fun day ! I keep smiling all the way and feeling excited !!! hahahaha !

I hope can go USS again !! :D

Before I rant...
I gonna update, my mom's condition. I guess no one's reading anyway.
Here it goes...
The other day, I was very tired after rushing here and there...
Didnt dare to sleep and keep going in and out of my mom's room to check on her...
Sleep around 5am...
Glad that she is feeling okay bit by bit just that... she cant anyhow eat right now...
She said that she feel v exhausted when she walk...
Was really worried over here...

Yeah, I gonna rant..
First, is abt that bitch.
I was accompanying my mom and then, she sms me this...

Her: YeJia. You at home ? Can help me play ss? I v v v frustrated liao. Since ytd. I cant even play ):
Me: I nvr play ss for a long time alrdy
Her: Heckcare bahh. Time up liao
Me: Dont ask me to play game anymore.
Her: Oh okay. Exams horh? Jiayous !

I said in twitter before that I am having holiday and exam over already.
HAHAHAHA she didnt notice.
Cant even play ss ? Then dont play la !
She is the one who need help then come to me, dont need help throw me aside.
Act nice to me saying YJ ILY IMY ! -PUI!-
And the quest time up liao still want me to play ? what she trying to proof ?
=.=

Next, is the poly, same pple keep asking me the same qns over and over again.
Wanna kpo on my stuff or you really care ?
If u really care, you wont keep asking again and again. I have to repeat the answer again and again.
If you really care, you should know how I feel, DONT YOU ?
So stop asking stuff regarding poly, I dont want to know and I dont want to heard abt it.
I jsut want to relax for now. I dont want to think too much.
Cos I keep on self deceiving ! GRRR

Tmr, I'm going USS cos mom say that, its once in a life time and blablabla.
So yeah I'm going. I hope that tmr will be an enjoyable day. So bye.