Because... of all the people around me... I not sure if its cause that people treat me nice cause its a chore for them or they really want to treat me nice ?
Let talk about my classmates. (Aiya, basically I'm just gonna talk abt them cos this is how I feel frm them)
Firstly, let me do an introduction about them first.
I said before that my class consist of lots of guys and malays.
So, when having lunch, we chinese, went to the food court together. ( I am not racist here)
This consist of,
-Me
-YF (Girl)
-HK (Boy)
-KY (Boy)
-Cly (Boy)
-Png (Boy)
-GM(Boy)
-Ben(Boy)
YF and HK very close, it seems like they have secret or whatsoever. Always stick together. Even though YF got bf. But she seems to be doesnt matter. Whenever she see me, she will went so happy and keep jumping and hoping around. Sometimes even hold my hand and etc. But when it comes to like talk abt stuff. Yes she will talk to me but then, she still prefer HK than me, which I dont know why. And I feel that its okay. But some people doesnt feel that its okay...
Recently, her attitude towards me change... she doesnt talk to me like how she used to... Then talk abt stuff which really can hurt me. Being selfish and etc...
She talked a lot and a lot of the people whom I have listed down, talked to her as well. Till the extend when I wanna talk... nobody doesnt want to talk to me. Its like either I am walking infront or behind... Sometimes, when she is not around, I talk. But their respond wasnt like how they respond to YF. Sometimes... can even see that they are just putting on the show.
Anyway, I feel bad when talking abt this. I seriously think I am talking too much. I MEAN thinking too much !
(Ps : I took a long time to think and blog but i dont know why I just dont want to talk abt it as I think I am thinking too much)
Nowadays, I think of smth and after thinking for like days or whatever, I feel that I really thinking too much and let it go. I am still learning to control myself, as its not easy as what U guys think. Cos I have high neuroticsm.
Not just only classmates, I've been thinking too much about my GPA. It drops !!! From 2.9 to 2.8
I not sure if I am giving myself too much stress or I have high expectation of myself.
People were telling me, this is only the 1st year, 1st semester only. You so chiong for what.
Yes, for what ? Why do I have to do all these ? How does it benefits me when I score well ?
Cos, I am aiming for university now... Its so hard... so... so.. hard !
I feel that I sooner or later, I will not be able to hold on to the car that is speeding anymore...
Let me end this post with some photos that I took this week.
Remember that it was a monday and it was a very humid weather. Last min plan to had dessert and walk around the nearby shopping mall before heading home to do RJ and etc.
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| This guy above ask if I would like to go for the art exhibition at scape and I brought Cat along :D So that at least I have someone to talk to. LOLS. |
We were copying someone with the expression LOLS. and I didnt know that the candid shot that Cat took of me doing some expression can be so nice too. LOLS.
Inside joke :
Cos whenever i type, I will type v fast or I blur or smth. End up here is the joke...
Cat : So which flirter do you wanna use to take photo ?
Me : NONE
Both of us : -laughing away LOLS-
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