Someone

Hi, I am living in my own world, I've been going home early because I feel that home is where I can only get love and warmth from. I can only depend on myself and only myself.

These few days, when I was talking to someone. Someone1 just doesn't talk like how the way someone used to be. It just make me feel like "okay... its my fault, kthxbai". I'm like making a fool out of myself.

It seems like everything its just taken from granted. Never ever cherish it. Always aiming to the people who are better than me, to make friends with them. If fail, come back to me. Same goes to other people surrounding me, like my classmate, only hang out with smart ass. Maths question, one small mistake or even other module, put me down. I am not perfect, I make mistakes too !

Another thing is, leaving me for someone else. Then, when people ask someone2 why is it that you guys are so close even though your just know each other for 1month. Someone2 say, cause we watch anime while YeJia dint watch anime, not much stuff to talk about. Thus, like her3 more than me. I was like...hahaha... I didn't say anything its because that time I wasn't suppose to go to school cause I was sick and I dint have the mood to talk back or give any comment.

Someone2 and someone3, got very close after I intro them to each other. They behave like as though they are BFF. Laugh, joke around and many more. While I am the one who will just walk behind them, like I have never exist... Even if I were to join them, its hard... because they only pay attention to each other...
They even treat each other food, which never happen to me before... And, whenever there is lecturer talk, I would help them to book the seats. They just sit there and did nothing, continue playing with reach other. My class ended late. I have to sit somewhere else instead... That day, I told them, you know I feel outcast. They went, hey don't say this type of things and then said, I am so sorry... After that, the same old thing happen again. Until I told someone2, you know, when you have no one, you come to me. Someone2, got angry with what I had said. Ain't I, the one suppose to get angry ? This is just ridiculous !!!

Later on, one night, someone4 asked me the number of someone2. I gave it to someone4 and I asked why, because I am curious. But no reply... I told myself that, its okay... you are not alone... be happy.
Yeah, everyday I study and do whatever I like. While they, everyday on their skype/msn chatting there happily.

Sometimes, they do show concern for me like, say take care and ask if I am okay when I am sick.
However, only ask me when I am alone. After said finish those line, they went back having fun with one another. Let me think that, they show concern for the sake of showing it, having fun is much more important.

I am just extra, a fool, a nobody to everyone. I've been keeping this to myself... I think its time to let it out.